What Does the Bible Say About Controlling Your Temper
Handling anger properly is a critical life skill for Christians. Anger can cripple communication between two people and rip apart families and relationships in churches. God's Word not only teaches how to deal with anger but also how to overcome sinful anger.
Righteous Anger
Righteous anger is expressed when we are confronted with sins such as in cases of child abuse, pornography, racism, homosexuality activity, sexual fornication, abortion, and more. The biblical Christ get angry at sin, even the sins of His disciples (
James also gives us excellent instruction when it comes to righteous indignation (
Ungodly Anger
Anger can become sinful when motivated by pride (
Handling Anger Biblically
To manage our anger biblically, we must recognize our mismanagement of ungodly anger as sin (
To handle anger correctly because someone has hurt us, we need to see the Lord amid such situations.
Anger and Biblical Ethics
Responding to anger appropriately is a matter of biblical ethics. God the Father who is perfectly holy only gets angry when His holy unchanging standards are violated (
Every Christian, at some point in their lives, is going to get angry. The Bible does not minimize that reality but also teaches that the Christian is not to sin in anger (
In cases of injustice, it's essential to make room for the wrath of God when evil men abuse innocent people.
Christians Are to Put Away Anger
Anger is the emotion most often associated with abuse which is why Paul tells Christians to put away anger (
One key to handle anger biblically is to return good for evil (
Four Keys to Christian Communication
There are four keys that
- Be honest about the problem and speak to it (
Ephesians 4:15 ,Ephesians 4:25 ). After all, people cannot read our minds, and we must speak the truth in love. - Do not allow your anger to build up, so you lose control. It's essential to address what's bothering you before it builds up. Communicate how you feel with those close to you is one helpful tool to combat blowing up. Stay current on communicating about your feelings (
Ephesians 4:26-27 ). - Don't see people as opponents to be won but communicate in love with people (
Ephesians 4:29 ,Ephesians 4:31 ). One key to doing this well is to watch the volume of our voice and to keep it low (Proverbs 15:1 ). - Counting to ten in our head is an invaluable tool to respond in a godly way to others (
Ephesians 4:32 ).
Helpful Application Questions to Ask
The next time you feel that anger is coming I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:
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"What tends to make you feel mad, and why?"
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"What behavioral characteristics annoy me, and what are the reasons?"
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"What is my anger revealing about the present state of my walk with Jesus?"
Address Your Anger in a Biblical Way
Anger is a God-given emotion and meant to be expressed righteously, not in unrighteousness. As the Lord by the Holy Spirit addresses your anger, repent, confess it, and seek help from your pastor and trained biblical counselors. By recognizing what causes you to get angry, you can grow in grace and prevent future outbursts of unrighteous anger. We all need one another. I need you, and you need me in our local churches. So, let's keep the lines of communication open, share openly and honestly with one another and aim to grow together in grace in community with one another in the local church.
Dave Jenkins is the Executive Director of Servants of Grace Ministries, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, and the Host of the Equipping You in Grace Podcast. He received his MAR and M.Div. through Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary. You can follow him on Twitter at @davejjenkins, find him on Facebook at Dave Jenkins SOG, Instagram, or read more of his writing at Servants of Grace, or sign up for his email newsletter. When Dave isn't busy with ministry, he loves spending time with his wife, Sarah, reading the latest from Christian publishers, the Reformers, and the Puritans, playing golf, watching movies, sports, and spending time with his family.
What Does the Bible Say About Controlling Your Temper
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